It's Been A While, Pt. Whateveridon'tcare

I guess the whole blogging deal kinda fell out of fashion with me for a few months... it's been CRAZY.

I don't really know what to write on this blog anymore... why am I still blogging??

First Post of October & Marching Band.

It's October!! How strange, that it's only been 3, 4 weeks? It feels so long, yet so short...

As to marching band, WE WON SWEEPSTAKES!!!! It's the first time since my freshman year :] Hopefully we can keep it up all the way to championships!!! I am so tired... haha.

Guitars and Candide.

I decided that my next guitar shall be a Taylor. I'm hoping I can snag a 414CE, which is a Grand Auditorium with a Sitka spruce/ovangkol combo and an ES pickup... if only, if only. I really liked the sound of ovangkol, and I realized how much I missed the midrange on my mahogany guitar after playing a rosewood for so long... so, mom and dad, you know what to get me for graduation :D Just kidding... if I decide to invest in another guitar, I'll have to wait till college, probably...

On to... Candide, a satirical novel by Voltaire, who is very dirty, by the way. One thing that Pangloss (a philosopher and teacher) continually emphasized was how things, no matter how bleak or horrible, will turn out for the best, which got me thinking... is that really true? I think that God puts us in various situations that don't always turn out the way we'd like them to, which causes us to question Him and kinda lose hope, but in the end we kinda have this little epiphany like, "Oh, this is why He did this back then, and not that..." which is really an awesome thing, because God's always looking out for me, not just in the present, but in the weeks, months, years, and eternity to come. I heart God :]

College.

I hate SAT's. I thought 2100 was a great score, then these Ivy Leagues tell me their AVERAGE or bottom 25% get less than a 2300!! A TWENTY-THREE HUNDRED. I digress...

So yeah. I can't decide between Chemistry, Biology, or Biochemistry, but I feel like I'd have the most fun in Biochem just because I'm nerdy like that.

My expanded list of schools:
UCLA
UC Berkeley
UCSD
UCI
Stanford
Yale
Harvard
Brown
Princeton
Johns Hopkins
Rice
St. Edwards
Oxford

The schools I'll probably actually apply to:
UCLA
UC Berkeley
UCSD
UCI
Stanford
Harvard
Yale
Brown
Johns Hopkins

Which is still a lot... I am so screwed -.-'''

Reflections on a Football Game (and Afterwards)

I'm listening to John Mayer and Jazon Mraz right now... oddly calming stuff. I find it pretty cool that so many people with the initials J.M. are musically talented... guess I missed out :] Kina Grannis is pretty cool too... happa! (I'm pretty sure that's NOT how you spell it...)



Anyways, yesterday was our first South High Varsity football game in the new South High football stadium, complete with bleachers that weren't falling apart and extremely loud speakers that nearly burst my eardrums... and a horribly unprepared marching band... was it our fault for not preparing the rest of the band enough? Was it MY fault for failing to be a good section leader? No one respects or listens to me... it's pretty sad... I'm disappointed in everyone, but most of all myself. I wish everyone would just shape up, but I guess no one will if the section leaders don't. I was pretty close to a complete meltdown from anger and frustration at the end of the game. And after the game, Mr. King yelled at us, and rightly so... we couldn't even assemble a parade block to exit the stadium... Rrrrr.

Enough of that though. So after fueling my anger into cleaning the band room (like I usually do), we went off to Lamppost (like I usually do). I heard a little rumor that was circulating about my "winner"... sooooo dumb aiyahhh. These people DD:

Yup. So the first night was pretty much fail.

Anger Management.

When you're angry, it's generally better to keep your mouth shut. I realize how stupid I sound every time I say something when I'm all fired up about something... that is all.

Guitars.

For some reason, I want a Larrivee koa guitar... and there are several selling on e-Bay for $100 starting. Too bad my parents took all my money away for no reason. Wot reason, you be asking? I bought a pair of Rainbows!! Ohhh the HORROR, the absolute HORROR. Well tell me that I'm the uncontrollable spender again when there are exactly 68 pairs of your shoes sitting in the garage, mom! I digress.

Stability and Security.

If you've been following Obama's public appearances lately, you'll know what I'm talking about... but does this phrase really sound Socialist? I know it reminds me of Brave New World (*cough*), but really?? And why would America be accusing him of being a non-democratic IF THEY ELECTED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And one last thing for this little mini-rant. Obama is planning to address the nation's schoolchildren tomorrow on a nationally televised broadcast of a speech that's been causing no end of criticism and controversy. Since when was telling children to do their best in school a Socialistic thing to do???

America is stupid. I hate politics.

ASB.

I guess it's better that I'm actually writing somewhat frequently and candidly about specific topics rather than random spurts of inspired blogging... I kinda feel like I should theme my posts in some way, but that's OK.

So a few weeks ago (actually, just a little less than 2) I went to registration at South High! The last time I would have to stand in those infernal lines, or so I thought; Mr. King scored us the early-in (also "or so we thought"), because we had to wait until 8 AM anyways... but that's besides the point. My point is, as the title suggests, ASB. For those of you who don't know, I ran for ASB as the Commissioner of Fine Arts sometime during the second semester of my junior year. Unfortunately, I lost the race despite a huge amount of effort and going out of my comfort zone. The experience was a growing one, and not to say it wasn't rewarding, but it wasn't really tangibly so. Why didn't I get the post?? I thought it was quite unfair.

But when I came to registration and saw ASB hard at work, I realized that I wouldn't really have been able to do all the summer stuff, as I had band camp in the mornings anyways. A lot of stuff that I contest with God usually turns out being "oh well, I wouldn't have been able to do this anyways, so it's a good thing I didn't do it" kind of thing; I guess one of my strengths is time management, but also one of my weaknesses, as I sometimes load too much on myself without knowing it beforehand. I won't deny that I was jealous of the ASB members, because it was something that I wanted to do, to be able to genuinely serve the school in ways that I knew how; I wasn't interested in that "looks good on college apps" career benefit. And when I see them goofing off or hanging out together, I can feel that green monster clawing its way out of my heart... it's a horrible feeling.

I guess knowing that I wouldn't have been able to devote all my time to ASB isn't really fair compensation for losing the race and facing disappointment... but it definitely helped me to jump clear out of my comfort zone and do things I never would have done, even in a normal Student Council election. And it helped hit home the fact that no matter how much effort you put into something, if it's something God doesn't want for you, it's not something God wants for you. He knows best, period.

Relationships

I am utterly amazed at all the new couples that have popped up within the last few months...

How do I feel amidst all the amore? What do I want? What SHOULD I want? So many questions plague my mind. Relationships are perhaps not the most pressing piece of business floating around inside my twisted noggin, but it's definitely somewhere in there.

On one hand, I am happy about having gotten through all my relationship stuff this past year; it's one less thing to have to think about. On the other hand though, it's something that I want, but I know I shouldn't, because the reasons for it are all wrong. My affections are constantly strewn this way and that, I don't know who I like or who I have a crush on... it is just so frustrating. I constantly wonder, oh maybe I like this person or, oh is she the one? or stupid things like that. Am I jealous of other people? If something ever comes up and I have the opportunity to date someone, would I do it; why would I do it? Aalsdkfja sdfiohgosdjfkfgowriaffdjlskfasdfaskdf whyamIateenager. -.-

Hormones suck. Except that they make me grow taller. Aasdlfkj.

Band Camp.

Wow, tomorrow is the LAST DAY of band camp. I am both excited and sad... it will be my last! :[

I honestly had a lot of fun hanging out with the bandies (though Rebekah would suggest otherwise *cough*)... it was weird being one of the "oldest" in the group. It was also weird being a section leader... I am definitely not one to be taking the reins or yelling at people :P

As I look back on the previous 3 years, a lot of things have changed... one, the schedule is weirddddd. I got a lot tanner this year haha. But I guess as a person, things were different. Freshmen year, I was scared by everybody and was incredibly shy (I know, weird). Sophomore year, I got... sophomoritis...? Junior year was OK... not being able to play wasn't very fun :/ And now this year... I realized that I am a lot more comfortable as a player and marcher, and that I had no problem in going up to and talking with people I didn't even know at all. It's crazy.

As a section leader, though, I realize how much more responsibility there is. Not only do you have to play your (memorized) music, make sure you're in time and marching in the right direction at the right pace on the correct foot without hitting anyone else, execute any and all visuals flawlessly, you have to do it for EVERYONE in your section... insanity DD:

So yeah... just random blurbs about band. It's been an awesome four years, and I can't wait for the rest of the season to happen!!

It's Been A While, Pt. 4

"'Tis nearing the end of summer, and all about Torrance, teenagers are rushing to finish their summer homework." Actually, it's not that bad for me, which is surprising considering I have 3 AP's and an honors right now... and I'm thinking about adding another one?!? Crazy. All I have left to do are the current events & cartoons for Gov, the essays for Econ (finally got my book back!), analyze the two books for Lit, and memorize those 4 equations for Physics. No sweat... right...?

So right now, I am in the middle of band camp! We've learned maybe a third of the first movement and put music to some of it, which is pretty slow progress. I kinda feel like they're babying us too much, but then again, this IS my fourth time around. -.-''' Section leading is definitely hard, especially when I'm not a very assertive person... gotta work on that.

College apps have been postponed till summer homework is done!! I have to write my Common App essay and do all those supplements (which means MORE essays)... fun fun. Good thing I have till January :PP Except UC's... I'll probably just use my Common App essay as my other UC heheh...

I've sort of hit a bump in the road, musically... trumpet is sounding better, but I have horrible chops and I'm supposed to be wearing my retainer. Piano, I haven't really touched for a while, but I feel like I can't really go anywhere with it... guitar, I definitely wanna learn more, I just don't know where to start! As for percussion, I don't really think I have any cajon-ing skills, so I might stick to other instruments, or learn new ones! Speaking of which, I am (sort of) picking up bass... interestinggg. But yeah. Just way too much going on for me to be able to get good at all of these, or even a few. I wish there were more hours in a day... but I've gotta make do with what I have ;] I have a sort of OTS thing in the making, probably like once a week I'll do a song for Facebookers and Youtubers. I have 7 views on my video! :P I've also been wanting to sit down and write a few songs, but it'll be a while before I have time; hopefully I'll finish my homework quickly! But even then, I have SAT practice tests and college apps -.-'''

So yeah, I'm just pretty busy right now... as for relationship update, I am a loser and pretty happy about it haha. I've got so much stuff on my plate anyways that I wouldn't have much time or energy to devote to liking anybody. It's kind of strange though, seeing all these people get together in the last year they have together in high school... I guess I'm sorta glad I got that stuff out of the way this past year? 0.o Focusssss DD: I bet Matt Whang that I wouldn't like anyone at least till like 2010... I've got katsu on that bet >:D Just kidding. Speaking of katsu, though, I think I'm just going on a permanent katsu fast. It no longer is so delicious to me hahaha.

This was a pretty quick post... I guess I'm not in a bad mood (which I usually am when I blog, as most people are)... maybe I just have too much stuff to do to be sitting around and thinking about it? Iono.

God bless,
Joe Mak

It's Been A While, Pt. 3

Hmm... I seem to blog only when I'm angry or otherwise emotionally agitated. Maybe that's just most people to begin with. I'm not gonna talk about that though...

VBS!! I enjoy working with the kids a lot more than I expected... even the crazy rambunctious kids (*cough* Theo Chang *cough*) :P I think the kids kinda got over my intial intimidating factor haha. All the guys are kinda rebellious and crazy, and all the girls are really quiet but funny; it's pretty much your typical elementary school class, I guess. They enjoy joking and doing stuff with me, and I enjoy teaching and even doing hand motions to songs with them... I'm glad that God opened this door for me.

And I can't wait for YSC :DD Hopefully I can just get away from everything and all the distractions and stress (although it has a nasty habit of following me everywhere).

Other than that, I'm just swamped with summer homework and college apps and SAT studying and and and... yeah. -.-'''

Hello Again...

More and more I'm finding myself in need of an outlet to vent... not like typing words into a computer screen is gonna help.

So I've tried twice to write something and come up with stupid stuff that's too dumb to post on a blog... make that three times now. Dang.

It's Been A While, Pt. 2

It has definitely been a while since I've blogged... perhaps I should do this on a regular basis?? Hmm...

Anyways, I just got back from a wonderfully long 2-week trip on the East Coast with my family, which had two goals: have fun, and visit colleges. What colleges, you say? Well I'm glad you asked. I visited Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD), Yale (New Haven, CT), Brown (Providence, RI), and Harvard (Cambridge, MA)... all lovely schools with much to offer. Out of pure luck, I was able to score a last-minute interview at Yale, which was pretty cool... not like I'm gonna get into any of them :PP Aside from the pure academia stuff you all know I love (ha ha), we visited all the famous sites like the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Times Square in NYC, Empire State Building, White House, Capitol Building, Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, Independence Hall... the list goes on and on. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot of history (it should be review, but I forgot it all xD). Also had some wonderful food, mostly Italian and Chinese :D My trumpet section was really happy that I got them the "I love New York" T-shirts... that'll be our marching band uniform!! :]

Other than thatttt... my fingers hurt as I type, because: 1, a ton of mosquitos bit me IN THE SAME PLACE and turned my right pinky and eventually half my hand into a giant balloon that I bled to get the poison out; and 2, my calluses vanished arrrr. It hurts to play guitar now.

So while most people would say FML at the point I am right now, I'm not really feeling that... yes, there ARE low points in one's life and I tend to get emotional about it, but life itself is a blessing, and I find those blessings every day. God is truly good to me, and perhaps I take that for granted... just some food for thought. I do encourage everyone who's gotten into the habit of saying or thinking "FML" to say "LML"; love my life! :]

Taking a Break from Summer Homework

YES, I am doing summer homework on the 2nd week out of school, on a Sunday afternoon when I should be skipping in fields of daisies and laughing merrily. Except for that last part. That's just weird.

So why am I doing summer homework on such a nice day?? Several reasons. One, I am going to miss 2 whole weeks of everything because I will be visiting the lovely East Coast and therefore need to compensate. Two, I want to start early because I will be insanely busy later on. Three, it helps me get my mind off of things and makes me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something this summer.

What things, you ask? I don't feel like telling you. But I will say that right now, I am not liking myself too much. Kudos to me.

It's Been A While...

Whoo! Summer... I'm glad I get to rest. Wait, did I say rest? Not so much...

So, first things first! I got a pickup installed in my new guitar (which is still unnamed, by the way), and it sounds beautiful :D I have yet to try it in the actual system (I only plugged it into a keyboard amp), but it sounds great! I'm gonna modify the strap I have so that it fits the guitar better (the neck end is too wide for the strap button on the heel, and the body end's holes are too small, since now there's a pickup instead of a strap button... so I've got some work to do).

Other than that... I have a pretty busy summer ahead of me. I'm leading the brass for band and have to do all the artsy stuff, of course! It's a big responsibility, but hopefully I can handle it... I'm volunteering at the doctor's office (starting this Tuesday or Wednesday...), and band practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays. I also have college apps to do (UC personal statements, other essays, etc.) and I'm visiting the East Coast to look at Ivy Leagues 0.0''' Summer homework is an even larger load now that I'm taking Gov/Econ, Lit, and Physics... luckily Mr. I is pretty chill and doesn't give out homework for Multi :DD

And I know people are gonna start asking me about which colleges I'm gonna apply to, so here's my current list: UCLA, UC Berkeley, UCSD, UCI (my backup), Stanford, Harvard, Brown, Yale, Johns Hopkins, St. Edward's University of TX. I don't know if I should apply to some other colleges just in case the UC's don't like me :PP Honestly speaking (not bragging), I think I should be able to get into SD and Berkeley, but you never know... SD is a good choice for me since there's an accelerated Bio-Premed program there, and I have family there... but Berkeley is cool too. I don't know... anywhere is good haha. Wherever God takes me, I will go.

And what would my blog posts be without the customary relationship status update?? :DD I guess I'm still recuperating, and things still hurt, but I'm definitely feeling better than I was last month... the only thing I hate about being totally and utterly "single" (in terms of the Winner's Game, a "loser") is that I start getting a little crazy (not flirty crazy... just crazy). I don't think I'm gonna be a "winner" anytime soon... I need a break, and I don't think I could like anybody right now without just having it be a rebound. If I'll like someone, it'll be because I like them for who they are, not how they help me to avoid memories or substitute emotions; even if they don't know that I like them, I still feel like I'm using that person... so for now, I remain completely single :]

So yeah... I've been sleeping later and later nowadays... something's bothering me, I just don't know what it is... pooooooh. ><

That's about it... I'm just rambling now >.>

Untitled

You'd think today would be a good day, with late start and shortened class periods, but this is not so... other than almost getting my second guitar (a Martin solid sitka spruce top/rosewood back & sides affair for about $800 instead of the retail $1100 at GC). But anyways...

It's strange when something you know is coming actually happens... and I won't specifically say what it is, but those of you who know me will know what I'm talking about. Things have just spiraled out of control, I guess... I wish things had turned out differently, but God meant for things to be this way and I will still praise Him. I don't know how long it will take for me to mend my heart. Hopefully, I can just move on, but knowing myself, it will take a while...

So where am I going with this? I am not exactly sure... oh well.

God bless,
Joe Mak

First "Real" Post... Hmm.

This is my first post with some actual content in it... haha anyways, I just wanted to talk about some stuff that's been going on.

First thing, leadership roles. As I'm going into my senior year, I find myself trying to get all these jobs in various clubs and organizations... the main one I want to talk about is ASB. I have faced a dilemma over whether to even try; I have gotten all sorts of opinions... however, I don't feel like I have the time, and it's already making me crazy; we haven't even gotten anywhere yet. I think if I'm going to be involved in Band, Senior Student Council, Science Club, Tri-M, (maybe) CSF & New Life, then I really will not have time to do ASB... I turned in the application, but I think at this point I'm going to have to drop out of the race. God is telling me something here... don't try to bite off more than you can chew, or you'll choke.

Second thing is relationships. As high schoolers, we all wanna get together with someone whom we have feelings for (who is hopefully of the opposite sex... >__<)... as a Christian in high school, our perspective is somewhat different. I personally believe that marriage should be the ultimate purpose of dating; this has been stressed time and time again, every single time a speaker talks about high school relationships. I kinda think it's because we're hoping someone says otherwise, but really, are we ready to enter relationships? Some would answer yes... I used to think so too, but when I took a step back, I realized that romantic feelings are definitely not something high schoolers can support without going astray somehow. There's still a part of me that does want to be with that special someone in that way, but I know that things wouldn't work out... so my advice for high school students right now; enjoy the time you spend with the person you love and continue to get to know them, but just remember that God has prepared someone for you later down the line, maybe even the same person right now, but the timing's wrong. Enjoy their company and take joy in the feelings and bond you share, but remain friends.

OK, that's all for now... I thought I just needed to get that all out of my head... on a last (and certainly random) note, Sriracha is insanely delicious; you have no idea. 0___0

God bless,
Joe Mak

Cup 'o Joe

So after seeing some friends blogging, I decided, "What the heck, why not?" The name was just something random that popped into my head . . . however, I maintain that coffee is detrimental to the health of youth! Which is why I should stop drinking it.

Judging from the randomness with which I am writing, I have no idea what the purpose of this blog is . . . I hope this can just be an outlet for my thoughts and experiences, and that somehow God can work through this. :]

God bless,
Joe Mak