ASB.

I guess it's better that I'm actually writing somewhat frequently and candidly about specific topics rather than random spurts of inspired blogging... I kinda feel like I should theme my posts in some way, but that's OK.

So a few weeks ago (actually, just a little less than 2) I went to registration at South High! The last time I would have to stand in those infernal lines, or so I thought; Mr. King scored us the early-in (also "or so we thought"), because we had to wait until 8 AM anyways... but that's besides the point. My point is, as the title suggests, ASB. For those of you who don't know, I ran for ASB as the Commissioner of Fine Arts sometime during the second semester of my junior year. Unfortunately, I lost the race despite a huge amount of effort and going out of my comfort zone. The experience was a growing one, and not to say it wasn't rewarding, but it wasn't really tangibly so. Why didn't I get the post?? I thought it was quite unfair.

But when I came to registration and saw ASB hard at work, I realized that I wouldn't really have been able to do all the summer stuff, as I had band camp in the mornings anyways. A lot of stuff that I contest with God usually turns out being "oh well, I wouldn't have been able to do this anyways, so it's a good thing I didn't do it" kind of thing; I guess one of my strengths is time management, but also one of my weaknesses, as I sometimes load too much on myself without knowing it beforehand. I won't deny that I was jealous of the ASB members, because it was something that I wanted to do, to be able to genuinely serve the school in ways that I knew how; I wasn't interested in that "looks good on college apps" career benefit. And when I see them goofing off or hanging out together, I can feel that green monster clawing its way out of my heart... it's a horrible feeling.

I guess knowing that I wouldn't have been able to devote all my time to ASB isn't really fair compensation for losing the race and facing disappointment... but it definitely helped me to jump clear out of my comfort zone and do things I never would have done, even in a normal Student Council election. And it helped hit home the fact that no matter how much effort you put into something, if it's something God doesn't want for you, it's not something God wants for you. He knows best, period.